Standing Still

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Sometimes in life, you find yourself at a standstill because you have no idea, which path to choose. It may seem that you’ve done everything in your power to select the path that is most in line with what God has set for your destiny, but you still don’t know.

That’s exactly where I am in life.

I mean I have worked hard to put myself in a position to be successful. However, right now it just seems that I am lost. I’m confused and I have no idea what’s the next big step for me.

There are times when I think I’ve figured out exactly what God wants me to do and then something happens and I’m confused all over again.

This has happened to me several times within this year following my college graduation.

I thought once I earn my first degree I will be on my way to being the successful woman I’ve always dreamt of being. I thought my path to success would be drawn out for me and the directions would be simple to follow. Boy was I wrong. Since receiving my Bachelor’s degree life has become even more complicated. I’ve realized that having a degree puts me in a better position with more opportunities, but that it’s just as important for me to have experience as well. I’m also discovering careers that I had no idea even existed.

It seems that my options are infinite and me being the slightly indecisive person I am, I just can’t figure out which path is for me.

While so many of my close friends and family members are out in the world doing some awesome things I feel stuck. I feel as if I don’t know what’s next. Now this time last year I was freaking out about what my next move would be. I was stressed because I really didn’t have a plan for my life anymore because what I thought the plan was going to be didn’t turn out exactly how I visualized it in my mind. In retrospect, it seems like I was fabricating elaborate plans just so that I wouldn’t disappoint the people I love.

I was terrified to admit that I was not sure which direction my life was headed.

Now a little over a year later I’m in a similar place. I don’t know what’s next, I don’t know what my next move is and I’m not completely sure what my purpose is. I no longer have a detailed 5 or 10 year plan written out that I must follow or else I’ll feel like a failure.

Right now, today I’m more confused about my future career than I’ve ever been. But, I’m at peace about it.

When people ask my friends and I what our plans are I am now able to say “I don’t know”, even though some people look at me crazy like how do you not know…? Inside I feel relieved not having to feed them some false elaborate plan.

Don’t get me wrong, I have goals for my life, but my focus has shifted. I’m not just concerned about having a prestigious career, a lot of money, and notoriety. At 22, I’m focused on learning true discipline, exuding integrity, developing character, spreading genuine love and having a healthy spiritual outlook on life.

The milestones I’ve been reaching for lately are more abstract. My growth as a human being and Child of God are of the utmost importance to me.

There are some days I feel like I’m not doing anything, but then I realize that I feel this way only when I am comparing my life to someone else’s journey. That’s when I have to remind myself that everyone has their own journey.

I’m standing still right now because there are some lessons I have to learn in this phase of  my life. Reaching my fullest potential right now will help navigate me to where I need to be on down the line.

Standing still is not bad!

Use that still time to grow, learn, and experience life like you never have before.

Find peace and rest.

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Standing Still

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